


Space House

by fabulouschat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Canon, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Crying, Depressed Lance (Voltron), How Do I Tag, Hunk (Voltron) Has Anxiety, I suck at tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Keith (Voltron) Has ADHD, Langst, M/M, Pidge has Schizophrenia, Self-Harm, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), everyone is an orphan, lance is depressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23537692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulouschat/pseuds/fabulouschat
Summary: After an incident at his last foster house, Lance is sent to a group home called Voltron Home of Health. There he meets new friends and learns how to face his inner demons, and the ones that are still out to get him too.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

The car drove down the paved street. The only noise being the humming of the engine from the little blue vehicle. “Look Lance,” the man driving spoke first. He had dark gray hair with tinted bags under his eyes. He was obviously tired from the last few days, not that Lance could blame him. They had spent the last four days in the hospital, waiting impatiently for the teenager to be released. 

“I know that things are hard, especially with your last foster home, but I think that this home will be good for your...needs.” the man mumbled the last part, seeming embarrassed. Lance just shrugged, not bearing to look at the social worker. The man sighed, making a right turn. 

They were in a suburb-like area. Big houses flew by the window, with those fancy green lawns and those perfect mailboxes. Lance just stared out to the passing world, his eyes dazed and unfocused. He had a hoodie on, the hood up on his head. It covered most of his face, hiding the far off look on his face. The social worker, also known as Mr. Kurbie had suggested trying a small ‘home’ that was meant for people like him. Not a group home. He called it a ‘help home’. Whatever the hell that meant. 

The houses started to grow further apart. Leaving more and more room for the yards to grow. “We’re almost there.” Mr. Kurbie assured, seeming to notice how tense the teen got. “I know you’re going to love it, you’ll be safe there.” 

Lance just fiddled with the strings on his hoodie, wishing there was enough room in the car to be able to bounce his leg up and down to release some anxiousness. The houses got to the point that they looked just private from the rest, bigger and fancier. It made Lance uncomfortable. The thought of this ‘help home’ made him sick to the stomach. Just not knowing where they were going after spending four days at the hospital was unsettling. 

The car started to slow, making Lance grip his sweatpants tightly. If Mr. Kurbie noticed, he didn’t say anything. The car entered a cul de sac, with only one house in the middle. It was at least three stories high, with white bricks lining the outside of the house and a green roof. There was a white picket fence that showed where the property ended, which Lance didn’t understand since the whole cul de sac was theirs. 

As they parked, Lance noticed there were two people standing outside. A man and a woman. The man had a buzz cut with a white forelock. Even from far away, Lance was pretty sure that his eyes were a nice onyx color. He wore a nice button up shirt and dark blue jeans, his muscles showing through the tight material. The most noticeable feature on him was the metal arm that was peaking out of the sleeve. The woman on the other hand, she could’ve been the definition of beauty. Her strikingly white hair complimented her dark skin, and those blue eyes were no comparison to the bright sky. She wore a white blouse with light jeans. In conclusion, the two looked like polar opposites. 

Mr. Kurbie got out of the car first, not even waiting for Lance as he approached the two eagerly. Lance was slower, reaching behind his seat to grab his backpack before exiting the car as quietly as possible. Mr. Kurbie seemed in deep conversation with both of them, leaving Lance to awkwardly stand by the car. 

“Come here, Lance!” Mr. Kurbie called. The said boy shuffled over to the small group quickly, not raising his eyes to meet any of theirs. Mr. Kurbie didn’t seem to notice as he continued to speak. “You guys should know everything about this lad from what we spoke about over the phone. If he causes any trouble, be sure to call me and I will remove him immediately.”

“That won’t be necessary.” the woman smiled. “I’m sure Lance will be fine, isn’t that right?” The teen didn’t say anything, but the other man nodded. 

“We have everything handled from here. Do you have all your belongings, Lance?” the man asked, looking directly at the boy. He managed to nod, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. He lifted his head a little, managing to see the slight frown on the man's face. The awkward silence was broken when Mr. Kurbie announced that it was time for him to leave, and scurried off to the car. 

“Why don’t we get some greetings in order.” the woman hummed, clasping her hands together. “I’m Allura.” 

“I’m Shiro.” the man said, offering his hand out to Lance. Biting his lip, Lance shook the outreached hand shyly. Shiro smiled kindly. “Why don’t we go inside, get you settled in.” Both of the adults started walking up the steps to the front door, leaving Lance to trail behind quietly. 

If there was one thing that Lance could say about this house, it would be big. They had walked into a living room area, which was wide and filled with lots of chairs and a couple of couches. To the left were the stairs, and there was an archway ahead of them that led into what looked like the dining room. There were a couple of people sitting there, peering right back at him. The boy tried ignoring them as he followed the advisors up the stairs. As they reached the second floor, Lance was sure they’d go up one more flight but Shiro led them forward. There were five doors, two on each side of the hallway, and the fifth was at the end. They opened the one on the far right, walking into the big room.

Lance looked around the room. It wasn’t much. There was a twin bed with fresh sheets and a comforter, a rug on the floor, a mirror attached to the wall, a small desk, and a dresser. “You can decorate it as much as you’d like when we get more stuff.” Shiro said, as if he read his mind. The teen walked over to the bed, sitting down cross legged. The other two took it as an invitation to sit as well, Shiro on the desk chair and Allura on the floor. Lance raised an eyebrow at the two of them, just causing Allura to smile. 

“We just want to explain a few things to you before we leave you alone.” she explained. “First thing we want to tell you is that there’s three other kids living in this house. We only allow four due to your conditions, and we only take in certain people. We think it’s better to focus on you all more rather than too many of us to handle and only give you a minute of attention.” 

“Second, you are only allowed on the first and second floor of the house. The third floor is forbidden. We don’t want to give you guys an option of a building to jump out of. All windows are locked, so you can’t open them. The doors don’t have locks on them, and it is a must that the door is open when you are in the room.” Shiro said, leaning back on the chair. “It’s not to make you feel like you’re in prison, just to keep you safe.” 

“Once a week, we all meet in the living area to give each other progress updates. See how you’re doing, how the others are doing, and if there’s anything we can do to help. We’re going to find you a therapist to talk to, and if they find it necessary to put you on pills, we will monitor your intake and make sure you don’t take more than needed.” Allura continued. “We know about your...most recent situation, so you will be set up with a different therapist as well to help you through that.

“On that note, there’s no sharp things allowed in this home. The mirrors are plastic, so they're hard to break. Knives, scissors, or blades are not permitted. Your food will be cut for you, and if you need help cutting paper for arts and crafts you can get one of us to do it. There’s a bathroom up here and downstairs. Both bathroom doors are curtains, just to keep an eye on everyone here. Not that we don’t trust you, but it’s the best way to monitor you.” 

Shiro watched Lance pull his knees to his chest, looking very uneasy. “I know this is a lot.” Shiro said, watching the teen glance over at him. “We just want to help you in the best way possible. We’re not here to fix you, we just want you to be comfortable where you are.” 

“Tonight is actually progress night, so you’ll get the chance to meet everyone before dinner.” Allura got up, shooting a grin at Shiro. “The meeting will start in twenty minutes, so make yourself comfortable before joining us.” 

Allura left the room quickly after that. Shiro followed, but not before waving goodbye and pushing the door all the way open. Lance heard them walk down the stairs before getting up. He unzipped his backpack and pulled out a baseball shirt and another pair of jeans. Smushed at the bottom was his green cargo jacket, looking pathetic. Just like me, he thought. He flung the three pieces of clothing in the dresser, not bothering that they were folded and moved towards the mirror. God, did he look terrible. 

His usual caramel skin looked like an ashened color instead, and his blue eyes seemed a different shade. If anything, he looked as tired as Mr. Kurbie did. He knew his hair was matted against his head, in need of a good washing. It could be done later though, not like he was going to put down his hood anytime soon. He wandered aimlessly around the room until he noticed a small digital clock on his desk read that it was 4:30. He didn’t remember when they put him in his room and when they finished speaking to him. He decided it was a good time as any to head downstairs. 

Lance slowly made his way down the stairs, letting his right hand skim the wooden railing as he descended. Everyone, he assumed, looked like they were in the living room, seated and chatting happily. They seemed to sense his presence because all heads turned to his direction. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment, seeing that all eyes were on him. “Come sit, Lance.” Allura called, offering one of the cushioned seats to him. Avoiding all eye contact with them, Lance moved to sit on the chair, facing everyone. 

There were a total of three other teenagers and three adults. Two of which he knew. Shiro spoke up first, “Okay everyone, as you can see, we have a new house member with us. So why don’t you give him a welcome, yeah? Let’s say our names, how old we are, and how we got here.” They all nodded in unison, making Lance grimace. Weird. “Why don’t we start with you, Hunk?” 

The man wearing the bandana seemed to freeze, visibly sweating. He had a yellow, long sleeved shirt on with khaki shorts. He had nice, dark skin along with kind, olive eyes that immediately made Lance relax. “Don’t forget to breathe, Hunk.” Allura said gently. Just like that, Lance saw the teens shoulders move up and down. He didn’t realize how still Hunk was until Allura said something. 

“So, my name is Hu...Hunk. I’m fifteen now. I’ve been here since I was ten. I’m dia...diagnosed with serve anxiety. I have some triggers, uh…” Hunk hands were visibly shaking, and he was fiddling his thumbs nervously. 

“It’s okay, Hunk. You don’t need to say your triggers, we can explain those to Lance later.” the man with the orange mustache said. Now that Lance was looking at the man, he noticed how strikingly orange his hair was. His aussie accent wasn’t hard to miss, and he had wrinkles around his eyes from the smile that seemed glued to his face. “How about someone else goes?” 

“I’m Pidge.” the smallest of the group spoke up. Lance couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl if he was honest. They had short, rustic colored hair that was in a weird pixie cut. They had big, round glasses that covered most of their face. They had a green t-shirt on along with cargo pants, and they seemed the most comfortable than the rest of the room. “I’m non-binary by the way. My pronouns are they and them.” Lance just nodded. “I’m thirteen now. I arrived here when I was nine. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia. Not as bad as Shiro and Allura think though. I’m good.” Pidge shrugged.

The kid with...was that a mullet? Lance squinted at the last teen. He had long, black hair that appeared to be a mullet. He swore his eyes had a purple hue to it, which went great with his pale skin. He had one tight black shirt that went wonderfully with his skinny jeans. To top off the look, he had black fingerless gloves on his hands. Emo. Definitely emo. “I’m Keith.” he finally spoke, crossing his arms. “I’ve been here since I was ten, and I’m currently seventeen. I have hyperactive ADHD, and I’m the adopted brother of Shiro.” Keith nodded to the said man, who just grinned in response. 

“I’m Shiro. You all should know, even Lance by now. I’m twenty-nine, and I came here when I was eighteen myself. I have PTSD, I don’t like sharing details though.” It was a short description of himself, but enough for Lance’s opinion.

“I’m Allura, and I’m thirty two.” She smirked when multiple snickers were heard. “I’m the co-founder of Voltron Home of Hope, and I’m grateful everyday to get to have you all in my life.” she said. 

“Finally, I’m Coran.” the man with the orange hair spoke. “I don’t dare mention my age. You scallions would make fun of me for days.” Pidge laughed loudly, quieting down just as quick. “I’m the other co-founder of Voltron Home of Hope. I’m very glad we get to have a new member here with us today.” Coran’s smile seemed to have gotten bigger, since that was somehow possible. 

Suddenly, all eyes were back on him. All six pairs of eyes. 

“Would you like to share anything about yourself, Lance?” Allura asked.

Shifting in his seat, Lance looked down at his lap. When he did speak, it came out quietly. They almost missed it. 

“The names Lance…”


	2. Chapter 2

There was only one way to describe dinner. Awkward. It was so awkward. Even before they started eating it got tense. Pidge had screamed at Lance earlier when he attempted to take a seat next to them, saying that it wasn’t his assigned seat and how he was being rude. The actual meal was...something new for sure. They had meatloaf with mashed potatoes and asparagus. “Comfort food.” Hunk had told him, setting down a plate full of steaming food. “The f-first night is always h-hard. Consider this a little w-welcome present.”

Lance didn’t really touch any of the food, preferring to stare at it instead of eat it. It did look amazing. But his stomach churned in retaliation with just the smell. Shiro kept prompting him to try some of it. He didn’t respond nor lift his eyes, and the older man seemed to have taken it as a response.

Lance took his time to observe his new...roommates.

He scanned his eyes across the room, taking note that everyone was in some sort of group. Pidge was speaking to...whatever they were seeing in the chair next to them. Lance couldn’t hear anything that they were saying, not that it was his business anyways. Hunk was in a deep conversation about food with Coran and Allura, both of their eyes wide with interest as the bigger man stumbled over his words. At least his voice was confident. Keith and Shiro were talking with each other, though Keith preferred to stare at the wall past Shiro rather than his brother. There were a few quiet ‘Keith’s’ to get the boy to make eye contact again, but he always ended up looking back at the wall. Another thing, which he wishes he could ignore, was Keith tapping the end of his fork against the table, loudly if he might add. He flinched every time the end of the fork hit the table too harshly. No one took notice.

At the end, it just felt like he was the loner, just sitting by himself with a barely eaten slice of meatloaf. Not that he could blame the others. He was the newbie afterall. Sighing to himself, he pushed himself away from the table and got to his feet. No one blinked an eye in his direction, and he almost got away with it too until Keith shouted at him.

“Hey! You didn’t get excused.” he said, his fist white due to how hard he was gripping the fork. Shiro hushed him as Allura spoke.

“It’s okay, Keith. We all know this is all overwhelming the first night here. But Lance, we do expect you to ask to be excused from the table next time.” Lance nodded, stuffing his hands into his hoodie’s pockets before making his ways to the stairs. The chatter continued, acting like none of that actually happened. Or mattered.

Lance went straight into the bathroom, pulling the curtain fully closed behind him. It wasn’t much. Someone could call it pitiful. It had a tiny sink, a toilet, and a standing shower with no cover. There was no iconic mirror hanging over the sink, just a little shelf that held toothbrushes and toothpaste. Trying to shake off the thoughts of dinner, he started the shower and stripped off his hoodie, wincing when the fabric rubbed the wrong way. The rest of his clothes soon followed. Trying to ignore the cold, he stepped under the warm water, closing his eyes as the steam rose around him. As he cleaned himself, he tried his best to not get the bandages on his arms too wet. God knows if there were more medical supplies in this house.

After scrubbing his hair with the only shampoo that was in the shower, Lance quickly put back on his clothes and made a bee line for his bedroom. All he wanted to do is curl up and try to sleep the rest of the day away. What he was not expecting was Keith sitting on his bed, looking as relaxed as ever.

“Uh…” Lance started, furrowing his eyebrows. Keith looked at him and raised his own brows.

“Hey,” the other greeted, getting on his feet.

“What are you...doing here?” Lance asked.

“I just wanted to make sure that you’re settling in.” Keith shrugged, shuffling his feet back and forth. “What’s on your neck?”

Lance froze, touching his neck gently. The slight contact made him wince, the pain still fresh. He forgot to pull up his hood. How could he have been so stupid. Tugging his hood up, Lance pulled it over his eyes. “They’re nothing...but you should probably go.”

“I wanted to talk though…”

“I’m tired.” Lance insisted, pushing past Keith and laying on the bed. Keith didn’t leave right away, just standing there and staring at his back. It made Lance hold his breath, the anticipation was too much. After what seemed like forever, soft footsteps went out the door and Lance immeditialy deflated  
.  
Letting out a shaky breath, Lance curled in on himself and squeezed his eyes shut. He wished he was back at his old house. It all seemed like a distant memory. All that was left was blurry faces and tight emotions. Only one face showed clear, and that smile could haunt him for the rest of his life.

* * *

A morning dove sang through the window, getting a song of groans in response. Lifting his head to look at the clock, Lance inwardly sighed when it read eight in the morning. He set his head back down on the dense pillow, debating whether or not to get up or not. His bladder gave him his final decision.

After relieving himself and changing in the other pair of clothes that he unpacked, the stairs were the next challenge. Lance groggily made his way down the stairs. It was still dark on the first floor, the second floor proudly out shining it. Stopping at the front door, Lance cocked his head from the sudden noise from the dining room. At that, he zipped the jacket all the way up to his mid neck. Moving himself towards that direction, the noises got more frequent. Someone met him halfway through, almost knocking him off his feet. Hunk stood there with a bowl of eggs and a plate of bacon. “Oh, hey!” Hunk said, moving around him to set the food on the table.

“What are you doing up this early?” Lance asked, watching Hunk scurry back to the other room, which he assumed was the kitchen.

“I’m usually a...I'm usually up during this time. I-I get up early. You know.” Hunk smiled, setting out a small plate of toast. “Sit. You didn’t eat anything last night.” Obliging, Lance sat at the closest chair next to him as Hunk piled as much food as he could on the plate. Taking the fork next to him, Lane slowly started to eat the eggs, continuing to watch Hunk set the table.

“We...We’ll be leaving soon.” Hunk continued, breaking the brief silence held between the two.

“All of us?”

“No! Just you and me. Th-Thera...py starts at nine thirty. Shiro doesn’t like to be late.” Hunk explained, sitting down with his own food at the table. Lance nodded, nibbling at his bacon in silence. It wasn’t long before the rest of the household started to make their way down, trying to wipe the sleep from their eyes. Once everyone was seated, the chatter started again and people fell into their normal groups.

“Are you ready for your first therapy appointment?” Shiro asked Lance while he was in the middle of buttering his toast.

“I guess…”

Shiro put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay. Nothing to feel nervous about.” Lance forced a smile, trying his best to swallow the bile that was coming up his throat.

It wasn’t long before Lance found himself in a car. He was in the back seat this time, Hunk in the front, and Shiro was driving.

“You and Hunk’s therapists are in the same building. So what better way to just head down together.” Shiro explained. It was a fairly short ride, only minutes until they pulled up to a large, brick building with multiple floors. Lance counted six. Shiro led the way through the front doors, dropping Hunk off in a separate waiting room before dragging Lance to another down the hall. Checking in with the lady up front, they got comfortable in their seats and waited for the lady to call out his name.

“So, which therapist am I seeing today?” Lance asked, sliding his back down the chair with his feet kicked out.

“You’re seeing your regular therapist today, then your...trauma therapist tomorrow.” Shiro said, opening up one of the magazines that was offered on the table in front of them. Lance stared at the older man, narrowing his eyes after seconds passed. Glancing over at the boy, Shiro gave him a questioning look. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just obviously bothered to say the word-”

“Lance!” a woman called.

The conversation broke, Lance getting up to be led through a seperate door that entered a thin hallway and closed off the waiting room area. To the immediate right, a door was open with a woman sitting there, legs crossed. “Lance?” she asked. He nodded in response, stepping in the room as the service lady closed the door behind him. “Hi, my name is Ms. Jacob. Why don’t you have a seat?” she waved at an armchair across for him. As soon as he sat, the therapist wasted no time with getting on the topic.

“So Lance, I’ve been updated on your situation. How’s your new home so far?”

Lance shrugged, trying to get a good look at the woman before staring at the wall behind her. “Good, I guess.”

“Any urges?” she wrote something down on the notebook in her lap. Her brown, messy bun was hanging forward. The glasses on her face slid down her nose as she looked down. It was a great view to look at the sunken eyes and pale skin.

“No…”

“It must be hard, since you just got out of the hospital.” This made Lance look over at her.

“You seem to get right to the point.” he said, leaning back against the rough fabric of the chair.

“Would you prefer I go slower?”

“It’s fine, I guess.”

“Alright then, so tell me, have you been tempted with sharp objects?” Ms. Jacobs continued, throwing the question behind her like it was nothing.

“There’s nothing sharp allowed in the house that I’m staying in.”

“That’s good!” she smiled. She wrote another thing in her notebook. “How are you liking the other kids in the house?”

“They’re fine.”

She hummed.

“Shouldn’t I be telling you about my tragic life story and how much I should be put on pills to take the pain away? You know, really get to know me.” Lance huffed, trying to push himself deeper into the chair.

“That depends, do you want to tell me?”

That made Lance pause, pursing his lips uncomfortably. It’s not like he knew this woman, and he wasn’t living with her either.

“I don’t know.” he said honestly. “When you attempt suicide, you don’t expect to wake up and continue living.”


	3. Chapter 3

If someone were to ask what Lance’s favorite pastime was, his honest answer would be staring at a wall. He could spend hours staring at a single spot on the wall. Count up all the scratches. Count up all the little bumps and raises. Really though, it was one of the only things he could do while in foster homes. Books were hard to come by, and most foster families didn’t give him a phone to play with. Not like he cared or anything. 

It was what he was doing right now. Laying on his side with his face only inches away from the wall. It was currently the middle of the day. Allura told him that she was going to be taking him to his other therapy appointment at three. Apparently Shiro couldn’t do it because Pidge had their own therapy appointment and Keith needed to go to a group session.

There was a small knock on the side of the door, making Lance lift his head and look over. Keith was standing there, a small smile on his face. “Hey,” he greeted, not even stepping in the room. 

“Hi.” Lance mumbled, laying his head back down.

“You’ve been in here all day. Do you maybe want to go outside with me?” Keith asked. There was a small tapping noise. Lance tried to hide the annoyance on his face as he rolled over onto his left side to stare directly at the other teen. Keith was tapping the door frame with one of his nails. He noted the chipped black nail polish on his nails. Desperate need of a repaint. 

“It’s cold outside.” Lance grumbled. 

“It’s May.” Keith snorted. “It’s practically summer.” Stifling a sigh, Lance got to his feet and stood in front of Keith, who smiled in response. They both made their way down the stairs and out the already open front door. It was actually very warm outside. The sky was a beautiful blue, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Pidge was already sitting in the grass, talking loudly and gesturing to themself. The couple made their way over to the other side of the lawn before settling down on the grass themselves. 

“Who is Pidge talking to?” Lance asked, making sure that his jacket was zipped up all the way. The bruising on his neck started to fade, but the ones on his shoulders were still a dark purple, laughing at him. 

After a few seconds of silence, Keith asked, “Why do you need to wear a jacket outside, it’s warm.” 

“You’re one to talk, Mullet.” Lance eyes flickered over to the fingerless gloves on his hands. 

“Mullet?” Keith pouted, reaching up to touch the back of his hair. “It isn’t a mullet.” Lance giggled quietly, leaning all the way back on the grass. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“What question?” 

“The question about Pidge.” 

“The question about Pidge…” Keith echoed, tapping his chin innocently. “Was there a question about Pidge?” 

“Yes, I asked who they talked to.” 

“Oh!” Keith snapped his fingers. It’s like a little lightbulb popped on the top of his head. Seeming to have just occurred to him what they were talking about. “They talk to their brother. Pidge says that he’s a real sweet guy.” 

“So they know that they’re just seeing their brother? That he isn’t actually here?” 

“Of course. Pidge has schizophrenia, doesn’t mean they’re an idiot.” Keith scoffed, crossing his arms. 

“I’m sorry.” Lance frowned, reaching out to grab one of Keith’s arms. He stopped shortly. Didn’t feel right. He put his hand back beside him, turning his attention to the sky. “I just thought they didn’t know.” 

“He supposedly disappeared a few years ago. Shiro says their mind made up the brother to bring comfort to themselves. But they’ve even told me that they know that he isn’t there.” Keith said. Lance met eyes with the other boy. Those purple eyes could stab you in the heart if you weren’t careful. Lance knew. 

If only he didn’t drown in those green ones. 

“Lance?” Keith asked. His eyes were wide, and a hand was reaching out to him. “Lance, you aren’t breathing!” At those words, Lance gasped, letting air fill his lungs. His chest was aching in pain. Keith was about to put his hand on him until he screamed. 

“Don’t touch me!” Lance curled in on himself, tugging his jacket all the way up to his face to hide it. Hot tears were rolling down his cheeks. He bit his lip, trying not to make any noises. He didn’t know how long he was just laying on the grass until he heard voices. They told Keith to move away and another voice came close to his face.  
“Lance,” it was Shiro. His voice was soothing and calm. “No one is going to touch you. Do you want to go? Do you want Allura to take you to your therapy?” Lance wanted to sob right there and then. He felt so frozen. So scared. But he couldn’t just reveal himself like that. They would take him away. Just like his last family. He was too disturbing. Pushing through his thoughts, Lance pulled down his jacket to see four faces looking down at him. Shiro, Allura, Keith, and Pidge. 

“Please.” Lance croaked, reaching a hand towards Shiro. Taking it, Shiro pulled the distressed teen up to his feet. He stood there shaking until he started to take small steps towards the fence, where the car sat on the other side. It was thankfully unlocked, so he slid into the back seat and buckled in his seatbelt. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take him?” Shiro said, his voice muffled through the glass. Both Allura and him stood outside the car, acting like he couldn’t hear him. 

“We’ll be fine.” Allura responded, walking to the driver's seat of the car. “Let me know how Pidge’s therapy meeting goes?” 

“Yeah, of course.” With that, Allura got into the car herself. Buckling in her own seat belt, they pulled off the side of the curb and made their way out of the neighborhood. The ride was silent, which Lance liked. This other therapist must’ve been further away, because they had been driving for fifteen minutes before they parked. Allura turned around in her seat, blue eyes meeting blue. 

“Yes…?” Lance asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to walk you inside and get you checked in. The lady at the front desk, I know her really well. She’ll watch over you. I have to go do some errands for the house. Will you be okay by yourself?” Allura asked, tilting her head with the question. 

Lance just nodded, pressing the button to release his seat belt and got out of the car. This building was much smaller. It was one floor, and didn’t even match the length of the parking lot. The grey wood on the side was chipping, and it reminded him of Keith’s nails. In desperate need of a repaint. He pushed through the glass doors with Allura, and moved all the way across the waiting room to sit. He could feel Allura’s eyes on him. There were soft voices speaking, then a door opening and closing. 

He was the only one in the small room. It was as big as his own bedroom at the house. A lot of people probably didn’t come to this place. “Lance,” the woman up front called. Just like the one from the day before, she opened up a door that led to a separate hallway. As soon as he went through the door, the woman pointed to the end of the hall. “Mr. Iverson is at the end of the hallway. He is expecting you.”  
Lance made his way down the hall, leaving the woman behind to go back to her desk. There were only three other doors that lead to different offices. It was a really small building. Once he made it to his destination, he knocked on the wood lightly. A soft ‘come in’ responded. Turning the knob, Lance came face to face with an older man. He had no hair on the top of his head, and his right eye was shut tight. His hard stare made Lance shiver. The voice made him shake. 

“You weren’t at all what I was expecting.” he said, walking around the teen. “And you were what, sexually assaulted?” 

Lance managed to get out a small ‘yes’ in response. He was already hating this visit. 

Mr. Iverson laughed, stopping in front of Lance again. “Was it a boy or a girl?” 

“I don’t...understand…” 

“Was it a boy, or a girl?” Iverson pressed with his voice raised. Lance tried not to flinch. 

“A boy…” Again, Iverson laughed loudly. He then gestured to the small couch on the other side of the room. 

“Why don’t you take a seat.” Iverson smiled at him. Lance slowly made his way over to the couch, sitting stiffly and uncomfortably. Never in his life did he think a couch could be so uncomfortable. 

“So Lance, I know that there’s a lot to go over, but where do you think we should start with?”

“I guess I don’t understand…” 

“Answer the question first.” Iverson responded, getting on his feet to pace. He was well over a foot taller than Lance, and never had he felt so small. 

“I really don’t know sir...” 

Iverson tsked. “Okay then, how about we start with consent?” Lance fully met his eyes this time. “How did you consent with your assaulter?” 

“I mean...I told him no multiple times.” Lance whispered. Iverson just rose a brow to that. 

“Then…” he pressed, getting back down on his chair. 

“I just didn’t know what else to do…” Lance whispered. “I told him no. But he kept pressing. He was right over me, I-” 

“Did you say yes?” 

“I mean-” 

“Did you, or did you not say yes?” Iverson raised his voice, his one eye narrowing. 

Lance gulped. “Yes…” 

The older man got up, walked over to the door, and opened it. He turned his gaze to Lance, and it sent shivers down his spine. “I think you need time to figure out what regret is and what assault is.” the man spat, pointing out the door. “You will sit in the hallway for the remainder of the time.” 

“Sir…” 

“Did you not hear me boy?!” Iverson stomped over to him, raising his hand. Lance swore the man was going to hit him. He instead pointed to the hallway. “Pitiful men deserve to sit alone until they can man up. Is that clear?” 

“Yes sir…” Lance went back out into the hallway, dropping immediately to the ground. He heard the door close behind him. Today’s events pushed down on his back, and Lance cried. He tried not to be loud. He covered his mouth with his hand, accepting the tears falling down his face. He wished he was back at his old home. With a loving woman and man with their other five children. They accepted him so easily, with open arms and love. They were the first foster family who loved him. 

They were going to adopt him. He was so close to being theirs. Why did he have to screw this all up? Why did he have to live? Did he not cut deep enough? He was ready to leave. He was ready to be free. 

The tears slowed, and he felt tired. He rubbed his jacket over his eyes, hoping he didn’t look too much of a mess to make Allura question him. He didn’t really know how long he was sitting there. Iverson didn’t come out at all for the rest of the time, probably not even caring what was happening to him. Finally, the front office door creaked open. Getting to his feet quickly, Lance smiled at the woman who looked surprised to see Lance out of the room. 

“Allura is here to pick you up.” she smiled, moving to the side to let Lance through. Giving her a small smile as well, Lance exited the building as fast as possible. Allura’s black car was pulled to the front. She was checking her phone, not even aware that Lance had come out of the building. He got into the car, ignoring the jump that Allura did at the car door opening and closing. She turned in her seat just like she did before he left. 

“So, how was it?” she asked, starting the car. 

“Great.”


	4. Chapter 4

Suddenly, it became very clear who the golden boy was in the house. Keith. At first, if you blinked you couldn’t tell. But if you literally had nothing else to do but watch, then it was clear as day. It annoyed Lance. Keith was like, little miss perfect to the adults of the house. It made Lance feel green inside with jealousy. He’s been given such a great home with great ‘parents’ who gave him love and appreciation. Hell, he was even adopted by Shiro.

Keith looked up from the book he was reading. “Will you stop staring at me?” he hissed. “You’re burning a hole through the pages.” Lance blinked, not even noticing that he spaced off while staring at the other boy. They were all in the living room area, waiting for dinner to be done. Coran had insisted that he would make dinner tonight to give Hunk the night off. It was supposed to be an hour till dinner two hours ago. Hunk had attempted to go in but Coran pushed him right back out, insisting he was almost done.

Hunk and Pidge were working on a puzzle together on the coffee table. It was looking like...something. Lance couldn’t even come up with anything to suggest what it was becoming. Keith had been reading his book, ignoring everyone happily. Shiro and Allura were sitting at the dining room table, chatting with each other while they messed with the already set table. Lance was doing nothing. He was thinking, if someone were to count that as a pastime. He would prefer to be in his room by himself. He could finish examining the wall he had been looking at earlier. But Shiro and Allura insisted they all sat together before dinner was served.

He had to say he was grateful that no one brought up his earlier panic attack. Everyone kept quiet, not even pushing him to what triggered it. It was just easier to not say anything at all. Hell, Shiro couldn’t even say the words. It was bothersome to people.

If I died, no one would feel so awkward around me. Lance thought, turning his attention down to the hands in his lap. He fiddled his thumbs. Gave himself a thumb war. It was quite entertaining. He also won, could you believe it?

When Coran finally came out of the kitchen, Lance had won six games of thumb war, the puzzle was almost complete, and Keith must’ve read twenty more pages of his book. They were called to sit and...something was set on their plates. In other words, it was burnt. To a crisp. It was still bubbling! They all looked at the man, who had a big smile on his face, like he was proud. “Well, what are you waiting for, eat it!” Coran sang, taking his own seat to take a large bite of...whatever this was.

Lance took a small bite of the food, cringing at the loud crunch it made. He held back the water gathering at his eyes. He didn’t want to cry again today. He was already drained with how much it took out of him. He instead nursed on the cup of water in front of him, grateful for the liquid that passed through his lips. Halfway through dinner, everyone took, at most, two bites of their food before someone got up and said this was insane. That person being Pidge.

“Pardon my french, but this is fucking disgusting.” they announced.

“Pidge!” Shiro snapped.

“They’re right, Shiro. This is fucking disgusting.” Keith said as he leaned back on his chair. Being the edgy person he was.

“Keith!” Shiro threw his arms up in the air. It made Lance snicker. “Language! Please guys, let’s just try to have a nice dinner.”

“But the dinner is gross.” Pidge said. “Can I be excused? I want to finish my puzzle.”

Allura sighed, pushing her own plate to the side. “You can all be excused. Today’s been a long day for all of us. Try to get in bed at a reasonable time tonight.” As everyone got up, she shouted. “And I don’t mean one in the morning! I mean ten! I’ll be checking up on all of you!” Her final words faded out as Lance ran upstairs and into his room. He was about to slam the door shut when he realized he couldn’t do that. Grunting in frustration, he threw himself on the bed, making sure he hit face first.

It was only eight, but he just wanted to go to bed already. Not even bothering to change into the pair of pajamas that Shiro had dropped off this morning, he closed his eyes and welcomed sleep.

It only felt like minutes when Lance jolted awake as he felt the end of his bed dip. Getting in a sitting position quickly, Lance was surprised to see Hunk sitting there with a plate in hand. He glanced over at the clock. It was nine. The other boy smiled sheepishly, extending his hand to show the dish. It had an enchilada on it, with green salsa drizzled over the top.

“Every...everyone else already ate. You must b-be starving.” Hunk smiled as Lance took the plate from his hands. He took the fork and immediately started shoving the food down his throat. Hunk seemed to relax at this. He even had a glass of water for Lance and everything.

“You’re honestly a saint.” Lance thanked, gulping down the water shortly after he finished. “Thank you.”

Hunk’s cheeks grew dark. “I know you’re not ready to talk. It sucks. But I know how ba...bad panic attacks can be. So I just wanted to make sure you were good.” he explained. Lance blushed at this himself. Hunk got to his feet, grabbing the now empty plate and made his way to the door. He stopped at the entrance, turning back to him. “Shiro said he would take you sh-shop...ping tomorrow for your room.” And with that, Hunk turned off the lights and left the room.

* * *

Shopping with Shiro was...fun per say. He really didn’t know how else to describe it. It was awkward, he wasn’t going to deny that. But it wasn’t terrible either. They walked all around the local Target, picking out things for Lance to put in his room. He picked out an LED shark, a dark blue blanket, and a little whale plushie. Shiro really picked out more essentials. A towel, a brand new toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, a few more shirts and pants, and he even picked him up some face wash. It all felt like a lot. Maybe a little too much?

“Are you sure about buying all of this stuff, Shiro?” Lance asked as the said man put a couple of notebooks in their cart. “You don’t need to spend all of this money on me. I’m good with what I have.”

Shiro shrugged as he put some pens in the cart too, pushing it along the aisle. “You deserve things, Lance. I know the foster system doesn’t let you keep things, it’s easy to lose track of belongings. I mean, you only had two shirts.” Lance blushed at that last statement. He wasn’t wrong. Instead of answering, Lance decided to focus on his surroundings. The store wasn’t really busy, a few people were running around and grabbing some last minute food for their dinners, but the rest enjoyed the slow afternoon as they wandered aimlessly around the store.

Shiro led them both to the checkout, putting everything on the belt as Lance continued to stare at other people. Putting a hand on his shoulder, the older man brought the teen back from dream land. There was a small smile on his face. Lance looked behind him, surprised to see all their items bagged. “Do you want to go out for lunch?” Lance watched as he picked up the bags, now walking towards the doors.

Trailing behind, Lance kept his eyes on the ground. “I don’t know...you already gave me so much…”

“As true as that is, I feel like spoiling you right now.” Shiro laughed, unlocking the car. Lance helped pack the bags in the trunk before climbing into the passenger seat. Lance was really starting to dislike car rides. He never really talked to the people who were driving the vehicle. It just felt really, really weird to him. What could he say, the car ride just seemed to go faster if they didn’t talk. He could just watch the world pass through the window in a blur, satisfyingly fast. They pulled off next to a tiny restaurant that had a shining sign on the top flashing ‘Painted Glass’.

“Kind of a dumb name…” Lance muttered. Shiro just chuckled, ordering them two plates of rice and beans, with a side of chips. They sat on the curb, munching quietly.

“You know, we should play a game!” Shiro took a bite out of a chip. “How about you count the blue cars, and I’ll count the black cars. Whoever has the most at the end of our meal, wins.”

“What would we win…?” Lance hummed, watching a black car fly by.

“A healthy fruit salad?” Shiro laughed, though it was a question that lingered in the air. Lance watched a blue car pass by.

“One,”

And so it began, the long meal of counting cars. It was pretty tight near the end. Shiro had counted twelve black cars, and Lance had ten blue. A car pulled up next to them, and it was even blue. “Eleven.” Lance whispered, throwing two chips in his mouth at once. A man got out of the car, which made Shiro jump to his feet. Lance looked up at him in surprise, watching that relaxed face turn into excitement.

“Adam!” Shiro practically shouted. The guy, named Adam, seemed to have the same reaction as Shiro.

“Hey!” The other man went to hug Shiro, burying his head into the advisor's neck. He seemed like a simple man. He had dark skin like Lance, with wide rim glasses that showed off his dark green eyes. He had a plaid shirt on and dark blue jeans. Were those converse? Lance looked away, feeling like he was invading on an intimate moment. The Adam guy lifted his head, blinking over to where Lance sat. “Who’s this?”

“This is Lance,” Shiro answered for him. “He’s a new kid at the house, he’s been here for less than a week. We just went shopping for his room.”

“Oh! How exciting!” Adam beamed, clasping his hands together. “What did you get?”

Lance shrugged, feeling embarrassed that the attention was suddenly on him. “I got some ocean stuff I guess…”

“Do you like the ocean?”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen it though. My last family was supposed to take me but…”

They all went quiet, just staring at each other with no words to say. Finally, Shiro coughed into his fist and pulled out the car keys. “We should get going.”

“Of course.” Adam nodded, giving Lance a small smile. Shiro pressed his lips against the others cheek, the two erupting in giggles.

“I’ll see you on Sunday.” Shiro said before both of them climbed back into the car and were off again. Lance’s curiosity took him this time as they drove, turning to look at the advisor.

“Is he your boyfriend?” He asked, watching as pale ears grew pink.

“Uh, yes. He comes over every Sunday to help plan the end of the month activity.”

“End of the month activity?”

“Every month, we plan an activity for the whole house to go out one. You guys get to pick where we go, so you’ll get a choice to choose soon. Pidge chose this time, and we’re going to the ice skating rink.” Lance hummed in response.

They pulled up to the house in no time, and it was starting to make Lance question how big this town really was. They hunkered through the front door, full bags in hand. Allura greeted them from the living room, a book in hand and her hair tied back in a ponytail. Lance noted how relaxed she looked as they made their way up the stairs. Hell, both Shiro and Allura both looked very relaxed today.

That didn’t last long though.

Two out of the four doors were shut. Shiro made a sound of anger and headed to the first one. He opened it without knocking, and started yelling at whoever was in the room. Again, Lance’s curiosity got over him and he stood behind Shiro to get a better look. Pidge and Hunk were on the floor of a painted green room with something in the middle of them.  
“Pidge! Hunk! You know the rules!” Shiro scolded, placing his hands on his hips. What a mom. “What are you two doing?”

Pidge grinned nervously, pushing their two pointer fingers together in an embarrassed manner. “Nothing?”

The older man pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a frustrated sigh. “We respect your privacy in this house, but no closed doors. Go get the screwdriver, we’re taking off the door for a week.” Both groaned, but obliged. Getting off the floor, the two headed towards the stairs.

“Hey Lance.” Hunk waved before going down the steps. Shiro was already next door, which was Keith’s room. The door opened before Shiro even had the chance, and the emo teen came out from his cave. They spoke in whispers, keeping it short and sweet. Shiro gave Keith’s shoulder a squeeze, then carried the bags that he had set down earlier in Lance’s room. Hunk and Pidge were back upstairs, screwdriver in hand as they started taking down the door. Lance bent down a little, whispering to Pidge.

“Does Keith get his door taken off too?”

Pidge shook their head, making Lance look at the other boy. “Nah, Shiro wouldn’t do that to his brother.”

Lance didn't take his eyes off of Keith though. They both just stood there, purple against blue.

“What?” Keith rose a brow.

“Nothing, golden boy.”


	5. Chapter 5

Lance had successfully avoided Keith all of Saturday. After realizing how much everyone respected Keith on Friday, he shut himself down. Not that it was all that hard. He made it very clear he wanted no one near his room, let alone near him when out of that room. Which everyone respected surprisingly.

With no one really bothering him the day before, he got the chance to be able to set all of his things up from the little shopping spree. His tiny dresser now looked a little more full, the shark LED light was shining brightly on top, and that blue blanket now decorated his bed. The room just seemed more homey.

Don’t get used to it.

You’ll just be shoved out to the next house before you know it.

It was now Sunday morning, which made it family dinner day. If he was quiet enough, he could hear Hunk already cooking away with Coran’s soft chimes blending in with all the pots and pans clanking around the kitchen. He was sure that by now everyone else was awake and moving around. Lance really didn’t understand why it was such a big thing. They have dinner together every night. He didn’t know why Sunday suddenly made it special.

He was currently curled up in bed with the little whale plushie tucked into his chest. The hours were ticking away, and breakfast had passed and gone. He really didn’t want to get up today. Why would he anyways? He wasn’t really...family to these people. Hell, he joined this place less than a week ago.

There were footsteps that came up to the door, but Lance didn’t even bother to lift his head. “Do you maybe want to help Pidge set up some games?” Shiro’s voice flew through the room. Lance wanted to shrug, or say no, or do something to just make Shiro leave. Instead, he just continued to stare at the wall. Blinking seemed like a chore, it tired him out. The footsteps came up to his bed, and suddenly the bed sank in the middle. Then Shiro hummed.

It annoyed the fuck out of Lance.

“What do you want, Shiro?” Lance managed to grind out. He wanted to be left alone. To be dead. Apparently he wasn’t allowed either of those things.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to help Pidge set up games.” He responded.

“Can you please stop trying to avoid the subject? You claim you’re here to help us individually but yet here you are avoiding my feelings all together!” Lance snapped. He lifted his head to glare at Shiro, anger washing over him quickly. “You’re being paid by the government to take care of me, so guess what, you don’t have to do all of this extra shit, you can just leave me alone and go pester your perfect brother.”

Lance was honestly expecting a scolding from what he just said. He instantly shrunk in on himself, going back into his fatal position, tucking his chin in. His back was still towards Shiro, and they sat in silence for five minutes before a soft sigh exited the other man. “Dinner is at five thirty tonight. But please come down for lunch, Hunk just finished making grilled cheese.” With that, Lance was alone again.

So utterly alone.

It was his own fault though.

Lance somehow managed to push himself up after what felt like days. His limbs felt heavy, like weights were tied to them. Even his heart was slowly sinking down his spine and into his stomach. What a terrible feeling this was. Feet were practically dragging across the floor, barely taking an actual step until he got to the stairs. He was met by loud chatter when he got downstairs. People were in their groups, smiles stretched on their faces, words flying a mile a minute. Lance inserted himself awkwardly next to Hunk and Allura, steering clear from Pidge and Keith who were talking about either doing volleyball or bocce ball as a game to play.

Lance breathed in deeply through his nose, tucking his hands in his lap to make sure he wasn’t bothering Allura and Hunk on the couch. He stayed quiet. As usual. He felt eyes on him too. He even met those straying, purple eyes. Keith had been sending him glances since he stepped foot downstairs.

They all eventually moved to the dining room, plates full of grilled cheese and tiny cups of tomato soup sat at each chair. Allura stopped him before he could take his seat, gently taking his hands into hers. The touch made him cringe, and he wanted to throw up in his mouth. What was with Shiro and Allura today? Suddenly acting caring towards him. “I want you to actually eat the full meal today.” she said. He raised a brow in response. She licked her lips, letting her gaze fall upon the rest of the kids. “You haven’t eaten a full meal since you came here. I just think it’s time to take it a step forward.” she finished. She dropped his hands and went to take her seat.

Lance sniffed, trying to blink back some tears that were gathering at his eyes. Too many thoughts. Too many voices. He was spiraling, he knew that. He knew he was slipping into another depressive episode. He just didn’t think it would be so soon after he got here. He wanted to go back to bed. He instead crawled into his seat, biting his lip as Keith started to tap his spoon against the table. He grabbed the cup of soup and started to sip it.

God he just wanted to throw up so bad.

They all ate in silence. Which was new. It was a light lunch, so everyone finished before him and all went into the living room. He was about to get up himself until he saw Allura staring at him from the other side of the table. Though her plate and cup were empty she didn’t move from her seat. “Aren’t you going to finish?” she asked, eyeing half of the sandwich that still laid on his plate. He blinked back slowly in response, picking up the sandwich and stuffing each bite down his throat. Every swallow was met with bile rising back up his throat. He wanted to throw a fit, to yell and curse at Allura. Do something to show that this was dumb. Watching him eat was unnecessary. But it wouldn’t have mattered. He just knew she would just stare at him until he ate the damn sandwich. He felt like such a kid.

At least one of them was satisfied with the situation. Allura was smiling from where she sat, proud of herself. With his upset stomach, he moved back to the living room where everyone was gathered in a circle playing Sorry The Board Game. He met Keith’s eyes once more, which made him get up and walk over to where Lance was standing, leaving Hunk and Pidge calling after him.

“Can I talk to you?” Keith asked in a whisper. Lance huffed in response, walking over to the front door. Keith trailed behind him, taking it as an invitation to follow along. They ended up on the porch together, both looking as uncomfortable as ever.

“Yes?” Lance asked, crossing his arms in a defensive stance. He really didn’t want to talk right now.

“Is everything okay?” Keith took a step closer. Lance stepped back. “You’re acting...off.”

“I’m fine.” Lance shrugged, wanting to pull his jacket tighter around himself.

“Please, you can talk to me.” Keith insisted.

“I really can’t, golden boy.” Lance snapped back.

“Why are you calling me that?”

“Calling you what?”

“Golden boy! I just want to know what’s wrong! Is that so bad?” Keith shouted. Lance winced at the tone difference. He just wanted to go back to bed. He just wanted to not get up again. He hated this. Oh, how he hated this. Let this just be over.

“You’re not my therapist.”

“No! I’m your friend. Please. Lance, you need to talk to me.”

“Is everything okay here?” Another voice pushed in. Both boys turned their heads to see Shiro’s boyfriend standing on the front lawn, a tiny bouquet of purple lilies in his hand.  
“Adam.” Keith said, turning to fully face him. Adam walked up the stairs, opening his right arm to give Keith a side hug. Arm going around shoulders, giving him a tight squeeze.

“Hey kiddo.” Lance tched, turning his head away to avoid such a loving scene between the golden boy and the golden boy’s brother's boyfriend. “What are you two talking about?” Lance grunted, walking back inside before the conversation could go any further. He went straight back to his room, crawled under his blanket, and listened to everyone greet Adam downstairs with joy.

It hurt to breathe.

To listen.

To stay awake.

To live.

* * *

Lance disliked dinner. Not because the food was bad. It was actually really good. It was just the atmosphere that was bad. Lance didn’t really have anyone to talk to. Again. The groups seemed so much bigger right now though. Adam with Shiro and Keith. Hunk with Pidge, Coran, and even Allura. He mostly just shoved his food around his plate. Mixing asparagus with mashed potatoes, pressing down firmly on the chicken cutlet.

Oh how much of an earful did he get from Allura when he didn’t finish eating. He was the last to be sitting at the table once again, with Allura right across from him. Waiting for him to finish, not letting him get up. Shiro finally had to interfere after a twenty minute staring contest.

“Allura, it’s really fine. He ate quite a bit, it was a big dinner. Come on, we’re all playing bocce ball outside. It’d be nice to have some more players on the court” Shiro walked over to pick up Lance’s plate, only to be stopped by Allura’s voice.

“Not until he finishes.” she said firmly.

“Allura.” Shiro hissed, narrowing his eyes. “We don’t force people to eat if they no longer can’t. He ate. He can come join us now.” Shiro picked up Lance’s plate before walking into the kitchen to put the dish into the sink.

“Shiro!” Allura got to her feet. Shiro didn’t seem that affected when he came back out, he placed a hand on Lance’s shoulder and gave him a soft smile as he ignored Allura’s fuming face.

“Ready to play?”

“Can I go to the bathroom first?” Lance asked. Shiro nodded, walking towards the front door with Allura by his side. Lance made his ways to the stairs, taking notice at the harsh, quiet words that were being exchanged between the two adults. He watched them leave the front door before continuing up the stairs.

Lance stopped at the second floor, looking over his shoulder to see if there was anyone behind him. If someone somehow came back inside and was just lazing around the living room. But no one was there. It was just his anxiety. Paranoia. He eyed the second flight of stairs that laid next to the first. Biting his lip, he counted each step as he made his way to the third floor.

He stopped at the edge, taking in the white walls and light wood floors. It was quite nice. Instead of the four rooms plus the bathroom, there were three doors tucked away in each corner of the hallway. One next to the stairs, another to the far left, and the other to the right. Along the wall were small, wooden cabinets with silver handles. He found himself standing in front of them, opening each one until he found what he was looking for. A pack of opened shaving razors.

Lance picked up the package, peeling the cut cardboard back to pull out one of the razors. He quickly slipped it into his coat pocket, practically throwing the box back into the cabinet before shutting it. As he breathed, he was suddenly back in his room. His heart was beating out of his chest. The thrill of being caught was on his shoulders, yet he was calm enough to not panic about breaking house rules.

Oh how badly he wanted to close that door.

Yet, he didn’t.

Crawling to the other side of his dresser, Lance sat on the floor with the razor in his hand. As soon as he was comfortable, he then started to pick. He kept picking. And picking. And picking.

Until that little metal razor fell out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just wanted to say how glad I am to be back to writing. Who knew working two jobs and taking a college class took so much time off my hands. I'm going to start updating every week or every other week! Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm

Lance has always been a little skeptical when it comes to a new family. Ever since he was eight years old, it just seemed impossible to get along with new people in a new house. Especially since he was living with these people. He didn’t know if it was him, or the family that made all these years hard. He’s sure the families would say it was all on him, while he had a different view point. Foster care was just...difficult. It was always something. They didn’t want him because he was Cuban. Because he was getting too old. Because he only spoke Spanish at first. Because he struggled in school. Because he had depression. Because he tried to kill himself. The list went on and on. The paper would roll out of the floor and out the door.

He still didn’t know how he felt about this family. Should he even call these people a family? So far, he really disliked the whole experience. He felt constantly tired, and just wanted to be left alone. That’s just not how it worked though. Pidge spent this morning knocking at his door at an early hour and wouldn’t stop until he came out. Allura was less vocal about how much he ate at a meal, but she still gave him that stern stare across the table during breakfast. Hunk had constantly asked him if he liked his cooking or not, which was due to how much he ate. He had to say, with this stress being put on from two people, it wasn’t a great amount. Keith was just being Keith. Doing his usual tapping against the table and occasionally the plate. Shiro just stared at him over his big cup of coffee.

Lance was now outside, with his back against the grass and his hands tucked in behind his head. He was watching how the clouds passed earlier, but now he had his eyes closed and enjoy the silence of the outside world. It didn’t last long because the warmth of the sun became cold from a shadow looming overhead. He blinked open his eyes, staring right up at Shiro who was leaning over him.

Lance just groaned. “You’re blocking my light.” he said.

“Are you tanning?” Shiro laughed, eyeing his fully clothed form.

“Uh, no. Just trying to enjoy the sun is all.” Lance huffed, sending the older man a glare.

I just wanted to talk to you about something.” Shiro responded, sitting cross legged on the ground next to the teen.

“All you’ve been doing is having these serious talks with me.” Lance grumbled. “Can’t I have a nice day?”

“It’s just because I’m concerned about you.” Shiro said quietly, resting his eyes on the boy beside him. Lance shrugged where he was, refusing to meet the soft gaze. Shiro sighed. “I want to start checking your arms every morning.”

That had Lance sitting up in seconds. “What?!”

“It’s just for precautionary measures.” Shiro reassured him.

“Sounds like an invasion in privacy.” Lance argued, getting up to his feet.

“You’re acting depressed. Allura and I both thought it’d be a good idea to just make sure you don’t relapse.”

“I’m not relapsing!” Lance snapped.

“I never said you were.” Shiro said calmly. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Lance crossed his arms, making sure to look everywhere but Shiro. The grass was extra green today, he observed. “Would you please sit down.”

Lance slowly sat back down on the ground, a little bit further from the grown man. He was rubbing his face tiredly. Was he always that exhausted? Guilt started to swirl in his stomach. Here was Shiro, trying to make sure he was okay, while he was making him feel bad about it. He was the one who was acting like a sulking kid and wasn’t trying anything. “I’m sorry.” he whispered, picking at the grass.

Shiro’s gaze settled on him, and he could see the corners of his mouth turn upward. “I know you’re going to do great here.” Shiro told him. “Keith was just as rowdy when he came here, always fighting and arguing. But look at him now, he’s our star kid! Finding his best way to live life and work with his struggles. You are going to do great things, and I can’t wait to watch you do it.” Shiro smiled. “Now, would you mind if I saw your arms?”

Hesitating, Lance pulled up his sleeves to reveal his arms. White lines were scattered across the two arms. Most were old and faded, except for the healing stitches down from his wrist to the middle of his arm. They were...ugly. Oh how he just wanted to pull down his sleeves again as Shiro studied his arms closely. Finally, Shiro nodded and Lance put away the unpleasant sight.

“Shiro! Can you come in, boy?” Coran called from the door, wearing a pink apron that would make the world snicker. With that, Shiro gave his shoulder a tight squeeze before going back inside.

With him now gone, Lance laid in the grass once more, and watched the single cloud pass by.

“I’m not Keith.”

* * *

Since it was progress night, Coran insisted they had dinner in the living room, thinking that the food would calm the nerves. It was a biscuits and gravy night, and the warmth helped with the cold atmosphere. Lance was sure Allura was going to make a big deal if he didn’t finish. He was thankful that Hunk gave him a small portion.

“Thank you,” Lance said, taking his fork to break a biscuit on his plate.

“I know that Allura was being difficult. I thought it would be go-good for you.” Hunk said, bouncing his leg up and down.

“I really appreciate it.”

“Let’s get his meeting started!” Shiro said, setting down his plate to get in a more upright position. “Who wants to share their progress from this week?”

Pidge was the first to raise their hand. “I would say this week was a success. Matt and I talked about my therapy, and my therapist said I’m doing well. We also went over some new ways to adapt to possible stressors, but she thinks I’m ready to get on some medication for it.”

“That’s great news, Pidge!” Allura clapped before stopping. “If you think that is a good thing.”

Pidge shrugged, but they had a small smile. “I’m still thinking about it.”

Hunk was the next to speak. “There’s not much for me to share. My therapist thinks my current medication is fine, while my psychiatrist thinks that I’m finally on the correct medication and it’ll take a few weeks for it to be in full effect.” Coran gave him a thumbs up as Keith wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“My basketball team is doing pretty good. Coach said that we can start looking at doing actual games against actual teams. I’ve also made a new friend.” Keith looked at Lance with that statement. “I’m very grateful for them being here...I also wanted to ask if I could start doing wrestling? Or another sport?” Keith directed the last couple questions towards Shiro.

“Well, it depends if you think it’s going to help you.” Shiro said.

“I just don’t want to go on meds again.” Keith shrugged.

“We can talk about it later than.” Shiro responded. Everyone suddenly looked over to Lance. Realizing it was his turn, Lance coughed into his arm. He had been staring at Keith so hard he didn’t even notice that the other boy’s update had ended.

“I uh, I don’t have much to report yet. I guess my therapist is really nice. I’ve only had one session with her though, you know? Can’t...can’t say much yet…” Lance finished. Shiro gave him a nod, picking his plate back up.

“That’s okay, Lance. I hope that therapy goes well for you tomorrow. Make sure to go to bed early. Next week you’ll hopefully have more to share.” With that, everyone went back to finishing up their meals. Lance sulked down in his chair, doing the same by f\scooping up the remaining gravy on his plate and pushing it down his dry throat.

A few hours later, Lance was in his room, humming a tune as he doodled in his notebook. He looked up when there was a quiet ruffling near the door. “Hey…” Keith whispered, leaning against the doorframe. Lance blinked over at him, eyes heavy.

“Hi.” Lance whispered back, putting the notebook down to give his full attention to the boy.

“Bad day?” Keith asked, walking across the room to stand next to the bed. Lance shrugged, pushing his lower lip into a pout.

“I guess you could say that…” he said, rubbing his arms up and down. Keith sat down on the floor in front of Lance’s bed, twirling his finger on the rug below him.

“I’m surprised you haven’t kicked me out yet, I thought you were mad with me.” Lance shrugged, trying not to acknowledge the awkward silence in the room. “You know, if you ever want to talk, I’m here.” Keith said softly.

“I’m aware.” Lance hummed, watching the boy in front of him.

“You don’t seem very aware.” Keith smirked, meeting Lance’s blue eyes. Lance felt his cheeks go hot, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“Well for your information, I’m very aware about everything.”

“Is that so?” Keith rose a brow. The smirk didn’t budge at all.

“It is!” Lance argued, a smile playing on his own face. Keith laughed, getting on his feet to lean over Lance. A breath hitched, and eyes grew wide. Lance’s eyes flickered down to Keith’s pale lips before returning to his eyes.

“Is this...okay?” Keith asked softly. Lance swallowed dryly. His heart was racing out of his chest.

“I-I don’t know.” Lance said back.

“Is it okay if we find out?” Lance barely nodded before chapped lips met his own. Eyes fluttered closed, and the warmth breath flew over his cheeks. Lance kissed back, using his hands to support him on the bed as Keith cupped his cheek with the one that he wasn’t leaning on.

As they pulled apart, their breaths were ragged and eyes hazy. Keith smiled, pushing himself off the bed to get on a full standing position. He immediately started to yank on his jacket sleeves, looking nervous. “Did you like it?” Keith asked.

Lance blinked. His full face felt hot, and his lips puffy and bruised. “Yes.” He managed to say.

“Thank god.” Keith bit his lip. He stood there for a minute. Then that turned into two minutes. It was about to be three he said good night. He leaned down once more to press a kiss against the cheek he was once caressing. With that, he was walking out of Lance’s room. Lance watched him go, shock still in his system, and heart pushing out of his chest.

Getting on shaky feet and making his way to his door. He watched Keith go into his room, a big smile was over his face. He looked so happy, excited even. Is that how he felt? Happy? Sure. Scared? Most definitely. Confused? Yes. But not upset. He went over to his dresser, pulling out the hidden blade and peered out into the dark hallway. It was late, and all the lights were off. Turning off his own light, he walked over to the bed, laying on his right side, using his elbow to prop himself up. Tugging down his pajama pants, he stared at his smooth hip. Should he be doing this if he was happy with how the night turned out? He felt tears prick his eyes.

He didn’t know how to feel.

He was scared.

He saw his eyes.

He started to cry.

He was now terrified.

He put the blade against his exposed hip and pressed down.

Oh how the color crimson took his breath away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh. I'm so sorry for the late update. I'm just happy to have this chapter posted before a bunch of double shifts this weekend. Hope all is well! Thank you for the comments and kudos! <3


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